Monday, November 22, 2010

Galbi Jjim

Seeing as the holidays are here and everywhere you look is food food food, I decided to veer off the topic of nakedness for the next couple of posts and instead, do some foodie stuff.

Growing up, one of my favorite Korean foods to eat was Galbi Jjim. It's pretty much braised beef (usually chuck short ribs) in a delicious, garlicky, sweet-ish, but still salty sauce. Think teriyaki sauce but more garlicky and salty. Anyway, each time I would ask my mom about how to make it, she said it was very difficult, not to mention labor and time intensive. But my mom cooks old school way, with a pot on the stove for 12 hours over night on super super low to achieve the depth of flavor this dish needs as well as the meat that is so tender it falls off the bone and melts in your mouth. Me, I take advantage of more modern tools like the Dutch oven or even better for this recipe, a slow cooker! Also, beef chuck ribs can be more pricey than I would like to spend on meat that I have to cook the heck out of. So, I go for chuck roast instead. When it's on sale, I buy it for $1.99/lb and Galbi Jjim is essentially Korean pot roast anyway. Lastly, the in the more traditional Galbi Jjim recipes, you will see that it uses ginger roots, dates, pine nuts, etc. I'm not going to complicate my life, or yours, with all that fancy schmancy stuff. This recipe is your no-nonsense, uncomplicated, quick(er) and easy version of Galbi Jjim.

Here's what you'll need:

Marinade:
5Tbsp sugar
6Tbsp soy sauce
2Tbsp Mirin (Japanese rice wine vinegar)
5 cloves of minced garlic
1/2 large onion, grated or pureed in a blender
3 green onion stalks, chopped
1Tbsp sesame oil
1Tbsp sesame seeds (optional)
1/2 Asian pear, peeled and grated or blended with the onion (you can use 1 kiwi instead if that's easier than running out to get an Asian pear)
*half a cup of beef stock
*half a cup of water

Other:
2 1/2-3lbs beef chuck roast
2 medium potatoes, cut to large cubes
2 carrots, cut into thirds and then halves again if you don't like chunky carrots

*Recommended if using Dutch oven. Not required.


You can see in this pic that I used a regular apple instead of an Asian pear or kiwi. I regretted it because the meat didn't come out as tender as I would like, so don't be like me. Go get the pear or kiwi. Also, the picture is missing the potatoes. Just pretend it's there. ;)

Ok, to start off with, you want to score your meat in a criss cross fashion so you can get all the seasoning into the deep dark secret places of the roast.


Next, mix all the marinade ingredients together.



Place your roast into the Dutch oven and pour the marinade on top. At this point, I would recommend pour the 1/2C beef broth and 1/2C water around the roast. I didn't do this to mine and I think it also prevented the beef from being as "melt in your mouth" as possible. Although if this extra step is too inconvenient for you, then just omit it. I did and the husband still devoured the dish.


For this recipe the night I was taking these pics, I used a Dutch oven, but I've used a slow cooker before and I think that having tried both ways, the dish turns out better in the slow cooker. But it could also be because I cheated and didn't use the right fruit this time around -_- If you use a slow cooker, just put it on LOW for about 6 hours and move on with your day. Go shopping, get your nails done. :)

Place the lid on top and let it come to a boil. Once it starts boiling, just lower the heat to a slow simmer. If you're in a hurry, you can cook this about 45 minutes this way and still eat it. BUT Galbi Jjim just gets better the longer you cook it, so I put the heat on low, walked away, watched a movie, took a shower, read a little, and about 4 hours later, I decided it was time to end the torture... or at least part 1 of the torture.


**IMPORTANT NOTE** Technically, you should put the potatoes and carrots into your pot, about half an hour before you think your food is done. Then you can eat it right then and there after the half hour, BUT the reason it isn't in this pot now, is because I am embarking on a bit of old school Korean style cooking technique using-ness... (yeah, you read that right. technique using-ness). This next step isn't required and if you're hungry, just go ahead and start eating.

BUT FOR ME...

Instead of wrapping this baby up, I decided to prolong the waiting agony and make the meal HEALTHIER too. I know I know.. it's strange to think of combining comfort food, which is pretty much what Galbi Jjim is, and HEALTH but I did it anyway because that's the way my grandma and my mom do it. SO I let the pot cool down and fished all the meat out of the pot, putting it into a separate bowl. Then I placed both the meat and the Dutch over into the fridge. Let it sit there overnight. The next morning, you will be gratified for waiting to eat this dish by seeing this in turn, waiting for you in the pot...


See all that white stuff? FAT FAT FAT. Floated to the top and solidified like it would have done in your hips and butt, FAT.

Start chipping at the fat and scoop that nastiness OUT!



After the purging, you can place all the meat back into the pot with a guilt free conscience and add the carrots & potatoes too! Put the pot back onto the stove, wait for it to come to a boil, lower the heat to a slow simmer and give it about 30 minutes. You can make a pot of rice while you wait. Serve the beef together with rice and when all is said and done, you will have delicious (not quite like mom used to make, because no one but her can make it with that exact special something, but close enough) Galbi Jjim. YUM.



**LEARN FROM MY MISTAKES** I regret:
Not using the Asian pear
Not using 1/2C beef broth and 1/2C water
Not using my slow cooker

Monday, November 8, 2010

Naked and Loving Me : Part 2

I think it's important to hear from somebody... anybody, you come across in your life, that you are beautiful. Ideally, it's good to hear this from your parent, the person you are romantically interested in, your best friend, your spouse, your child, even a stranger. It is just good to hear. Something to affirm you, and without any qualifiers by the way. For example, none of this "You're (insert something negative), but your face is pretty", or "You would be beautiful if only you would (insert something negative)". I think it's important to hear that you are beautiful, at least once in your life. So that someday, when you're all grown up and looking at yourself in the mirror, you can hear yourself saying it to your own reflection without seeing the look of doubt and disbelief staring back at you.

I will be the first to admit that I am not a slender girl, by any stretch of the imagination. I wasn't one when I was in 3rd grade and we took a trip to Griffith park where the guy working the pony ride grunted as he tried to get the kiddie-safe belt around me and said I had a gut. I wasn't one when I was in middle school when the boy I had a crush on told me that he could consider dating me, but my chubbiness was holding him back. I wasn't one in high school when nobody asked me to the prom. and I wasn't one when I got married and could only choose wedding dresses from a certain designated section. And throughout all those years, I never was told I was beautiful.

My mom,erroneously believing that she was being helpful, trying to find words that would motivate me to somehow magically lose all my extra weight, would tell me that I was gross because of my weight and nobody would want to marry me. She said I couldn't have pretty clothes because of my weight. She said I must be lazy. She said I took after my dad. My dad. The only person who had made me feel like I was beautiful, lovable. The only person who built up my heart, filling it with hugs which was like a soothing balm after the verbal lashings I got from my mom. The person, who in one fell swoop, walked out of my life at the age of 14, and devastated that same heart. The person who my mom couldn't even mention without a gleam of rage entering into her eyes, for the same devastation he caused to her heart. My dad. The rage. She said I took after my dad.

When I was 15, my middle school drama teacher wrote in my yearbook, "Love yourself". I had no idea what that meant. I still kind of don't. Which I think is part of the problem. But now, after many years, at the age of 30, I've decided to try and find out. SO... in learning to love myself, I think I have to learn how to be naked. And yes, I do mean physically naked. BUT I also mean it in the figurative way too.

Nakedness. I'm hoping that word will mean to me: Not feeling shame. Being vulnerable and exposed. Finding strength and beauty in being vulnerable and exposed. Being honest and transparent. Being humble. Being thankful.

If I'm going to love myself, I have to find myself. I can't find myself buried under years of pain, hurt, blame, self-pity, and and most of all, defensiveness.

Do you remember back in the 90's when people thought it was cool to act "hard"? Like when we were teens and when we posed for pictures, nobody smiled and we tried to do a group squat or tilt the head up because that meant you were "hard" and cool? That may be a necessary step in finding yourself while you're a teenager, but it is definitely not something you should still do when you are 30. I don't mean the physical posing and stuff (hey, how you take your pictures is up to you) I just mean having the mentality that "hard" = cool. The mentality that not letting anyone in, and not letting yourself come out, means that you have finally arrived. At least for me, being "cool" isn't at the top of my list of images I'd like to portray of myself, to myself or to others... well not anymore. It'd be a lie if I said I didn't care about it at all. I just think that now... there is something more in me to find than how "hard" I can be. More than what kind of exterior I can polish up for others to see. Sure, being "hard" definitely helps hold you together when you think you may otherwise come apart, but it can also act as a band-aid over a wound that will fester without air and light to properly heal. I'm ready to be real. I'm ready to heal. I'm ready for nakedness.

Stay tuned for Part 3 of Naked and Loving Me as I go through my journey of learning to love me through my nakedness!

Monday, November 1, 2010

Naked and Loving Me : PART 1

I've never been one of those people who can walk around the house naked. I know that there are some of you out there that relish the freedom of walking around your own domain naked as the day you were born... but not I. I don't even walk around naked in my bedroom. But as I'm growing older and hopefully wiser, I realize that my discomfort with my own nakedness can be indicative of something in me that's not necessarily good. I certainly don't have a problem with nudity when I hear about others doing it. In fact I'm one part awed and the other part envious. J too is one of you naked loving people. He'll strut, yes I said STRUT around the bedroom naked, and when we were living at our own place, he'd even go out to the kitchen in the nude to get something out of the fridge.

QUICK J STORY: One time, we were in Vegas and we had a room that had a window that looked out over the strip. We could see the Bellagio fountain show from our room and could even hear the music. So J, buck naked after a shower, walks casually over to the very wide window which has it's curtains all the way drawn, and just stands there, HANDS ON HIPS, watching the fountain show with a silly smile on his face. He LOVES that show by the way. He thinks it is THE BEST show in Vegas. That show comes around every half hour, and then every 15 minutes, after a certain time at night. It should tell you how much we watch that show since I can tell you its schedule. Anyway, not only did he stand there watching the show in the nude, he proceeded to watch about 2 more after the first one until finally I couldn't bear it any longer and told him that while he may be enjoying the view, the people down below on the strip really truly may not be enjoying their view. To this day, J will still recall that night and say it's one of his most favorite Vegas memories. :| I apologize to anybody reading this who may have seen a naked man in Vegas a few years ago watching the Bellagio fountain show from his 19th story window.

Anyway, suffice it to say, J is pretty OK with being naked. Me... well, as soon as I get out of the shower, I wrap myself in a ginormous bath robe that comes down to my shins. Then I quickly walk over to my dresser, and get dressed. You can probably clock me at about 30 seconds, for the entire time I'm in the nude. I don't even like to look at myself in the mirror if I'm naked. I don't even stay naked long enough to properly dry everywhere and put some lotion on. It's bad... :(

Also, I know that there are people out there who can sleep in the nude. I've watched movies where the characters will wake up naked next to each other after a romantic night of love making and start kissing each other in dreamy bliss. Don't get me started on the morning breath thing.. but focusing on the naked part... I really thought that this sleeping and waking up naked thing was a movie myth. Well, I have since learned from some of my trusted girlfriends, this is NOT a myth. This REALLY happens. People sleep IN THE NUDE! I have many fears about this. 1) what if the house catches fire while I'm naked and disoriented from sleep 2) what if burglars come in the middle of the night while I am naked and disoriented from sleep 3) what if (God forbid) some creepy crawly bug or something climbs in me while I am naked and sleeping! UGH! This then leads me to the next thought... What about those ladies who go sans-panty out to places. There they are... walking around with no underwear on, in skirts and dresses... just sitting on public benches, restaurant chairs, etc. I know that this is supposed to be sexy but... what if a bug crawls up you?!

I AM NOT JUDGING. Again, one part in awe, the other part in envy. BUT... these are actually my real, and admittedly neurotic, fears. And now, to the part of now being older and wiser... OK JEANNIE. GET A GRIP. That's what I tell myself when I feel like my thoughts are spiraling out of control about being naked. So one night, after having uh... intimate time... yeah that's it, with J, I tried to be brave and decided to forgo my customary jump out the bed, run to the bathroom to clean up, and get dressed routine for just, clean up and get back in bed. I strolled nonchalantly back to bed and got under the covers.. NAKED. EEK! I told J he had to do the same so I don't feel alone in this. He said ok and then proceeded to snore happily away. I lay there for awhile... my thoughts churning.. my anxiety running high... and miraculously, somehow I fell asleep. Don't cheer yet. It was a fitful sleep full of tossing and turning. Then I woke up like 90 minutes later, next to a still snoring J, feeling like there was no way I could sleep comfortably all night like this and gave in. I got up, threw on my clothes and with a contented sigh, drifted off to a nice deep sleep.

Some of you may say... "Well, sleeping naked isn't for everyone. It's ok, Jeannie. There are different people in the world who are comfortable with different things." I would say you guys are very nice for trying to make me feel better... but remember.. that older and wiser self? Well that Jeannie says that it's ok to have different levels of comfortability with your nudity, but to not have ANY comfortability with your nudity, not even locked in your own room by yourself, not even long enough to rub some badly needed lotion on your dry alligator skin... well that may be something else all together. And taking a closer look at that something else is what I have determined to do. I need to get not just OK with myself... but (sigh) it would be nice if I could even LOVE myself. Even my NAKED SELF. That's my new project. Learning to love me. Stay tuned for Part 2 of Naked and Loving Me!